I case you missed our last episode (if you did, WHATSUPWITDAT?), here’s the whole show.
A Timely and Thoughtful Conversation on the Passing of Hulk Hogan – The Finisher
But more importantly, we did our first top 5 of the new show to determine what the worst entrance themes of all time were. We couldn’t put them into the show proper, but you can enjoy all the bad right here.
Dan’s List:
5. Jesse and Festus – Biscuits and Gravy – How can we make a bad gimmick worse? I got it! Give them a generic country rock song with the dumbest lyrics you can think of!
4. Brie Bella – Brie Mode – The opening 2 seconds make an otherwise uptempo, if not unremarkable, dance track and send it straight into auditory torture territory.
3. Rob Conway – Just Look At Me – Conway was repackaged into the Narcissus Mark 12 after a pretty successful run in La Resistance. I don’t want to say this wannabe Randy Newman track is the only reason why he never got over in the new gimmick, but its hard to make a better impression when you’re kneecapped right from the start by this song.
2. X-Factor – What U Looking At? by Uncle Kracker – Whooboy, where to start? Let’s see, we start with a weak open that just slapped of the faction over the existing words instead of doing a re-record of the time. That’s a tough hole to dig out of. Then, the music isn’t too bad but its too slow in establishing its groove. But the time it picks up, Albert is already in the ring. Then you get verses from Kid Rock Jr., which is the most 2001 thing ever. Bleh.
- Rockabilly – Rockabilly – Imagine, you’ve been pulled out of a decent tag team and been doing jobs for about a year. You’re getting a singles push, you’re being paired with a legend. Here’s the catch: you’re gonna try to be the second coming of said legend, oh and your arrival in the arena will be announced by the sound of someone getting motorboated. Then we’re gonna rewrite the theme from the In Your House we did in Nashville in 1995 and make it Cool, Cocky, Bad Part 2. Luckily for Billy Gunn, this is almost completely forgotten and has been supplanted in our memories by his next incarnation.
Honorable Mentions:
– Kelly Kelly – Holla – Not a great song, but not terrible if not for the shrill opener that gets randomly inserted back into the track.
– Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga – All About the Power – A team that could have been something once again undercut. It’s like they wrote too many lyrics for the music but decided to shove ’em all in anyway
– Ted DiBiase Jr. – I Came From Money – This is just a bad version of Shane O’Mac’s theme.
– Noise themes – Things that are less songs and more just looped sound clips. Things that qualify here: Issac Yankem D.D.S., Right To Censor, The Goon, Bastion Booger, kinda Mantaur, kinda Kamala. Actually, those last two are actually pretty similar…)
Jerry’s List
5. Steven Regal – He’s A Man – A short-lived theme for a blessedly short-lived gimmick, Regal’s first run in the Fed framed him as the ultimate man’s man. It was all worth it for this moment.
4. Disco Inferno – Hey, a WCW entry! As overly cheesy as both the song and the gimmick are, Disco was way over back in the day. Then he joined the Filthy Animals and started going by Disqo and burned all of that good will.
3. Kerwin White – Another thankfully short-lived theme for a short-lived gimmick. Remember that time Chavo Guerrero Jr. “went white”? Yeah, let’s all agree to just forget that…
2. Right to Censor – Beeps – While an effective theme, it’s just noise. Ear-splitting, overly-annoying noise. You wanted these guys to spring to the ring just to get this theme to stop.
- Issac Yankem D.D.S. – Poor Glen Jacobs, you had to put up with so many crap gimmicks before finally being given Kane’s mask. Another noise theme that was just meant to be annoying and make you uncomfortable. As listener Dave said during the live stream: “hearing this makes my teeth hurt.”
The Finisher 