It is officially the favorite time of the year for the show: Royal Rumble season. All of us have the same anticipation for the year’s free-for-all that’s always filled with surprises, twists and turns and usually a lot of chops. So I figured we could make January Rumble Month here in the Retro Review segment and what better place to start than at the beginning.
The first ever Royal Rumble show took place on January 24, 1988 at the Copps Coliseum in the last place you would think of to hold the title of the inaugural Rumble: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The most unique aspect of the show is that it was not a pay-per-view card, it was broadcast on the USA Network to go up against the Bunkhouse Stampede that Jim Crockett Promotions was putting on PPV on the same night.
Our opening contest is a battle of loudly overdubbed themes as “Ravishing” Rick Rude takes on Rickey “The Dragon” Steamboat. Two great workers in their prime opening the show. We got a solid, back-and-forth opener. The crowd was already hot for the show, so they easily got into this one. The Dragon spent a lot of the match working Rude’s left arm, something that was so effective that Rude couldn’t hit the double bicep pose during his comeback. He’d make the back of the Dragon his target. There was also a very cool series of near falls near the end. Unfortunately, Rude pulled the ref in front of him as the Dragon went for a dive then got Steamboat up in a backbreaker, causing the ref to call for the bell and Rude to assume he won via submission only to be DQ’d. A good, fun opener with a meh finish.
The next segment burned way too much TV time as Dino Bravo attempted to set a new bench press record and it was drawn out for about 15 minutes. I don’t know if the weights were gimmicked or if Bravo was lifting a legit 700+ pounds. But Jesse Ventura assisted in the final lift and we got to hear Vince grill Jesse the rest of the night to find out how much help he provided.
You might be shocked to hear this, but next up is a women’s tag team title match as the Glamour Girls of Judy Martin and Lelani Kai defend against the Jumping Bomb Angels, Noriyo Tateno and Itsuki Yamazaki. It doesn’t help that neither Vince nor Jesse bothered to learn either of their names, eventually resorting to refer to them by the colors of their gear. The match is an interesting blend of old school women’s wrestling (the Moolah school) and the evolving school of joshi. It’s also a two-out-of-three falls match which was far more common on TV back then. Judy Martin picked up the first fall with a wheelbarrow suplex. Yamazaki evened it up a minute or two later after a slightly botched sunset flip on Martin. The third fall gets a lot sloppier before the Bomb Angels hit top rope dropkicks in stereo on Martin to win the titles.
In a reminder that contract signings have been killing the momentum of wrestling shows for years and years, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant come out to sign the contract for their rematch at the Main Event in a few weeks time. Faaaaaaaaaast forrrrrrward.
After those lost 15 minutes, Vince and Jesse explain the rules of the Royal Rumble to the camera. Then The Fink explains the rules to the crowd.
Hogan gets another segment to tell you how uncool Andre’s actions were in his last segment and we get to our unlikely main event: a two-out-of-three falls tag match between the Islanders (Haku and Tama) and the Young Stallions (Jim Powers and Paul Roma). The Islanders are in the middle of their biggest push as a team, against the British Bulldogs that saw them dog-nap the Bulldogs’ mascot and in this particular match, smack talk a dog into the camera. Not the most creative angle but it was what it was. The Young Stallions are that and I believe were also on the way up in the division despite some greenness, especially out of Roma early in this one. The Islanders pick up the first fall via countout as Roma is lowbridged and injures his knee, which required him being taken to the back for medical attention. Which gives us time for Andre and Ted Dibiase to come out and do an interview in between falls. The Islanders are just literally hanging out in the background in the ring. When they finally get back to it, Roma has to start the second fall and his taped up knee is the target. They eventually got him to submit to a single leg crab after Powers got a little bit of their heat back. Not a main event match, but it was the main event because of the odd stacking on this card.
MUST-SEE MATCH:
Royal Rumble match
Is this an historical masterpiece? Not at all. There are some stars in here, but a lot of filler. But I figure it’s always a positive to know the history and take in where it all began. The end has become pretty predictable when it comes to battle royales: the last face left somehow overcomes at least two heels with one of them accidentally eliminating the other. But there’s something about taking it in for the first time.
FINAL GRADE: D
It’s probably not fair to grade a TV special like a pay-per-view but its tough to give a good grade to an event whose purpose was only to sell you another TV special. This one remains relevant because of the historical nature of the first televised Royal Rumble. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not for building up a title match. It has to be done and they were trying to pop a huge rating on NBC, which if I remember correctly they did, but it seemed like the whole night was sacrificed for that which doesn’t make for the most entertaining viewing.
The Finisher 